Gardening Rules to Live By

I recently came across a set of garden tenets by a regional garden speaker. While I may have agreed with one or two, by and large, I thought, no, that isn't it. He's got it all wrong! 

A lot of what I hear from novice gardeners is that they are intimidated. They think they are "doing it wrong." And this mentality keeps them from really enjoying an activity that is exercise, art and spirituality all in one. How many things can you say that about? I know that for many speakers their whole job is predicated on being an expert. Yet, sometimes I think they carry that to extremes and make gardening seem more difficult than it is. Or they want to be snobby about it and act like there's only one right way to do it.

Wrong. Gardening is for the gardener, at whatever level they are at. With that in mind, here are my 10 Rules of Gardening:

1. If it looks good to you, it is good.  

 Too many people get hung up on the idea that there is a right way to combine plants and a wrong way. Granted it's best to take into account a plant's sunlight and water requirements when looking for some buddies to plant along side it,  but aesthetics? Each gardener is his or her own expert when it comes to what looks good. It's your garden and you're the one that has to live with it. If you like it, then it's perfect. 


2. The best time to plant a tree is 10 years ago so think twice before yanking out a tree. Shrubs, on the other hand, need to go when they get ugly. 

I'm not saying don't ever take out a tree, I'm just saying think carefully before removing one. Trees grow fairly slowly and if your thought is you're going to replace a mature, healthy tree with a better variety, chances are you're going to be very old before the new tree is in its glory. How will removing the tree affect the amount of sunlight or wind your house receives? Does the tree screen your neighbor's kitchen window? Consider all factors before removing a tree and know that there will be a big hole where that tree used to be for a very long time. A shrub on the other hand, is easily replaced. If it's ugly, overgrown or diseased in any way, rip it out and start over. There are many fast growing varieties that can replace an ugly shrub. Think of it this way, life's too short to wait for a tree to grow up and life is also too short to live with ugly shrubs. 

3. There is no place for perfection in the garden. 

Perfection is boring as well as a losing battle. You are only setting yourself up for frustration if you enter the garden with perfection in mind. Plans are good and often times necessary for garden planting, but be flexible. Plants don't always grow as expected or where expected. Some will move themselves or simply rebel by refusing to grow, some to the point of death. Weeding is never done. Bad weather happens and wreaks havoc on plants. Roll with it. You kind of don't have a choice anyway. It's all part of the adventure that is gardening.


4. Weeds are eternal. Learn to live with them. 

I'm not saying you have to love them (I certainly don't) and really don't let them grow out of control. Just change your mindset. Weeds will never be entirely eliminated from the garden. The goal is control...period. Don't let the existence of a few weeds ruin experiencing your garden. Focus on the flowers and plants you planted, not the pesky weeds. Then try to think of weeds as nature's  way of calling you into the garden for some dirt therapy. Would you be in the garden as much without weeding? Probably not. Your garden just wants your attention.


5. Embrace reseeders--the weeds you choose. 

Many people regard reseeding plants as a nuisance, but they can be a blessing. Which would you rather have: unsightly weeds that sprung up out of nowhere or pretty flowers you planted yourself? Which one could you tolerate longer should you not have time to weed? I'm not a fan at all of the veronica that is overtaking my flower bed but I've been fairly slow at removing it. Why? It keeps the ugly weeds down and is really a nice plant when it isn't taking over my whole garden. I pull out what offends me but never seem to get around to entirely removing the plant. Most reseeders aren't this aggressive and are easy to pull out if they show up some place you'd rather not have them. Reseeders are also an easy and inexpensive way to fill out your garden. Let the plant go where it may. You might be pleasantly surprised. 

6. If you have to fuss too much over a plant, you don't want it. 

Some people think fussing over plants makes them "real gardeners". I say that just makes them work really hard. Gardening is about getting in the dirt, watching things grow and enjoying how beautiful they are. As a living thing, plants really want to live and most times they will unless they are out of their element. If a plant requires babying, such different soil, fertilizers or extra winter care to get it to do it's thing (whatever that thing may be) then it's the wrong plant for your garden. Get something different and make your gardening experience more enjoyable. Speaking from a lazy gardener's perspective, a garden should grow in spite of you. 


7. There is no true failure in gardening. 

Plants die. It's just a fact of life. Sometimes you will kill it by not watering it, over watering it, not planting it correctly, planting it in the wrong spot or in the wrong soil. Sometimes you will do everything right and the plant will still die. There are insects, rodents, rabbits and bad weather all trying to do in your plants.  When something doesn't work in the garden, chalk it up to experience. You learned something and you are now better armed with information to do better next time. Rest assured that every garden expert has killed more plants than you have. That's how they got to be experts in the first place. The same is true for less deadly mistakes. Ugly planters happen. Failed garden designs happen. The beautiful thing with gardening is that you can try something different next year or dig up a plant and move it to a better home. Again, know that every garden expert  has created more ugly garden designs than you have. It's all part of the learning curve. 

8. Rocks and gardening don't mix. 

I'm not sure who thought it was a great idea to use rock as mulch but it's a very bad one on so many levels. Yes, I know there are rock gardens and I have to say, I don't really get that. As a mulch, rocks are not more effective than other mulches and they are actually worse for plants. Rocks will heat up the soil creating a hostile environment for your plants. Rocks do not break down and add anything to the soil. After a few years, your plants will be screaming for nutrients and you will now have to fertilize them fairly often. You will also have weeds. Removing the rock is a nightmare. If you want plants, choose a different mulch. It will save you a lot of back breaking work in the long run as well as create a better environment for your plants. Decorative boulders can also be problematic as they compact the soil which doesn't allow plants roots to grow. Be careful where you place these should you decide to use them.


9. However, rock music and gardening do mix. 

Or jazz, classical, pop or rap. Whatever you like. Garden purists will say that to garden is to enjoy the sounds of nature. I'm all about that and if you live in a neighborhood that supports that, great! Some days I do and some days it's all lawnmowers and screaming kids. If I'm taking to my garden for some Zen time, I find my iPod with all its alternative rock to be a better sound track than the neighbor's lawn tractor. Do what works for you. Make it the experience you want. 

10. If it's not fun, don't do it. 

Not every gardener does every kind of garden. Some people prefer vegetables to flowers, some do only flowers. Some people only do annuals while others do only perennials. Some gardens are huge yard-swallowing affairs while others are confined to patios or balconies. It doesn't matter what you choose, it's all gardening. Do what you like and let the rest go.

Getting it Right...Accidentally

I have been working on landscaping my yard from bare ground for 5 years. My goal has been to create an oasis for myself as well as any wildlife that may want to move in. Even those pesky rabbits that I claim to hate but will rescue from the window wells and even FEED from time to time. I can coexist as long as they don't eat certain plants. But I digress...

Birds have been my main focus and I've planted several plants to attract them such as echinacea and ornamental millet. In the course of bird planting, I also became aware of bees. It started with a rose bush that is the site of many a bee/pollen orgy. They also love African Blue basil (seems butterflies like it too!) which is a gorgeous plant with purple flowers. It also tastes great so plant one to eat and one to go to flower for the bees. It's not like I didn't want butterflies, I just hadn't gotten that far. Many of the plants that birds and bees like are also attractors for butterflies as well so my yard was a buzz with many flying creatures and I was content. 

Last year this showed up in my yard. At first I wasn't sure what it was because it was growing rightnextto a stargazer lily I had planted there. As it grew it became clear this was no lily. My mom said it was a milkweed. Common Milkweed. Now I knew from my mother's neighbor who planted this on purpose that it was the host plant for Monarch butterfly. Who doesn't love a Monarch? I decided it should stay. My mom wasn't so sure. It's invasive she said. I have a lot of invasive in my yard (VERONICA! Oh, how I wish I never met you! You are the bane of my gardening existence!) so I figured what's one more? Especially one that actually has a purpose?

I started having second thoughts late in the summer when my lily was in danger of being obliterated. Who gets priority? A plant that is basically squatting in my garden or the plant that I paid money for and planted according to a drawn out plan? The lily won and I attempted to pull out the milkweed and banish it from my garden. I am not a wildlife hater by any means (that I feed stupid bunnies for Pete's sake should be testament to that) but I wanted that stargazer! I figured a better plan would be to remove this milkweed and go in search of a better behaved milkweed that I could plant in a spot of my choosing. 

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Excuse me while I pick myself off the floor and wipe the tears from my eyes from near hysterical laughter at my own naivete.

Those of you that have dealt with Common Milkweed know that it will not be banished quite so easily. This year instead of one milkweed plant, I have 4. The lily seems to be soldiering on in spite of it which is good. Now milkweed has become a major battle cry in these parts. To the point of annoyance really. It's not that I think gardeners shouldn't plant milkweed in their gardens, I just think they need to be informed as to the growth habits of the plants they are planting. Would I suggest that gardeners plant Common Milkweed in their home gardens? No, I wouldn't. It's far too large of a plant and has very aggressive tendencies making it unsuitable (in my mind) for many urban gardens.There are other milkweed varieties (such as butterfly weed or swamp milkweed) that are better behaved. 

However, now that this milkweed was here again, I wavered. Sometimes it's better to work with a plant than fight with it all the time (except you, VERONICA! You are so outta here!). My dad assures me he can keep this thing under control with a spade and it's actually not in a bad part of my yard. It's not an entirely ugly plant.  I like purple and the flowers are rather nice. Then this guy showed up: 

Done. Milkweed stays.  

The Pinching Pays Off

A few weeks ago I posted this picture of my petunia pots after pinching. They were, in a word, pathetic. I left them to recover on my deck steps and they recovered well!

After one week, the blue petunias were blooming again and the red ones were sprouting buds. By week two, all three pots were blooming and filling out very nicely. By week three, they were gorgeous!

 Three weeks may seem like a long time, but given what they could look like, it seems like nothing. At this point, these simple little pots are far and away my fullest and most abundant bloomers. 

When it comes to leggy plants, it really does pay to pinch!